Should FixClarityFound in 5-8% of dissertations

Complex Sentences: When Your 50-Word Sentence Loses Your Committee at Word 20

Found in 5-8% of dissertation paragraphs. Sentences over 40 words force your reader to hold too many ideas in working memory. By the end, they've lost the beginning.

FIX

Break this sentence into 2-3 shorter sentences.

What This Issue Is

A complex sentence isn't necessarily wrong — but when a sentence packs 40, 50, or 60 words between its capital letter and its period, your reader's comprehension drops dramatically. Research on reading comprehension shows that most adults can comfortably process sentences of 15-25 words. Beyond 35 words, readers start losing the thread. Beyond 50, they have to re-read. Your committee shouldn't have to re-read your sentences to understand your argument.

Dissertation writing produces complex sentences naturally because you're expressing complex ideas. A sentence about your theoretical framework might need to reference the theory, its originator, its core tenets, and its relevance to your study. Trying to do all of that in one sentence creates a grammatical labyrinth. The solution isn't to simplify your ideas — it's to give each idea its own sentence.

The most common type of complex sentence in dissertations is the compound-complex sentence with multiple embedded clauses: "Although the research on X, which has been conducted primarily in K-12 settings (see Y, 2020), suggests that Z, the findings from higher education contexts, particularly those involving online learning environments, indicate that the relationship may be more nuanced than previously understood." That's 47 words, and by the time you reach "more nuanced," you've forgotten what was being compared. Break it into three sentences, and each idea gets the attention it deserves.

Why Your Committee Flags It

Sentences with 4+ clauses exhaust readers and obscure meaning. Committees read for hours and will stop engaging with writing that requires multiple re-readings to parse.

Before & After Examples

Before

While the intervention showed promising results in preliminary trials that were conducted in three different settings with varied populations, further research is needed to establish generalizability across contexts.

After

The intervention showed promising results in preliminary trials across three settings. However, further research is needed to establish generalizability.

One 44-word sentence becomes three clear sentences. Same information, dramatically easier to process.

Before

The study, which was conducted in three urban school districts in the southeastern United States over a period of two academic years, examined the relationship between principal leadership behaviors and teacher retention rates, finding that transformational leadership practices were associated with significantly higher retention.

After

The study was conducted in three urban school districts in the southeastern United States over two academic years. It examined the relationship between principal leadership behaviors and teacher retention rates. Transformational leadership practices were associated with significantly higher retention.

A 57-word sentence split at the natural contrast point ("while...other scholars") into two focused sentences.

Before

While several researchers have argued that professional development programs, particularly those that incorporate job-embedded coaching and collaborative learning communities, are more effective than traditional workshop models in promoting lasting changes in teacher instructional practice (Desimone, 2009; Darling-Hammond et al., 2017), other scholars have raised concerns about the scalability and cost-effectiveness of such intensive approaches.

After

Several researchers have argued that professional development programs with job-embedded coaching and collaborative learning communities outperform traditional workshop models (Desimone, 2009; Darling-Hammond et al., 2017). However, other scholars have raised concerns about the scalability and cost-effectiveness of these intensive approaches.

Self-Check Checklist

Tap each item as you review your chapter.

Frequently Asked Questions

There's no single ideal length, but most readability research suggests 15-25 words as the sweet spot for comprehension. Vary your sentence lengths — some short (10-15 words), some medium (20-25 words), and occasional longer ones (30-35 words). The problem isn't individual long sentences; it's paragraphs where every sentence is 40+ words.
No. Sophistication comes from your ideas, not your sentence length. Compare: "The results are clear" (4 words) versus a 60-word compound-complex sentence that takes two readings to parse. Which one actually communicates better? Hemingway wrote short sentences. So did Strunk and White. Clarity is not simplicity — it's the result of thinking hard enough to express a complex idea simply.
Use transition words to preserve the logic across shorter sentences. A complex sentence with "although...however" can become two sentences: the first states one position, and the second starts with "However" and presents the contrast. Similarly, "which" clauses can become new sentences: "This framework was developed by Bandura. It emphasizes the role of self-belief in motivation." The connections are explicit rather than buried in syntax.
Break the explanation into steps. Instead of one sentence that explains the theory's origin, core principles, and application, use three sentences — one for each element. Your reader will actually understand the framework better when each component gets its own sentence. Complexity of thought doesn't require complexity of grammar.

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