Found in 2-4% of dissertation sentences. "It was determined that..." by whom? "Data were collected..." by whom? If the actor is missing, your committee will ask.
Revise to clarify who or what performs the action.
Clarity markers flag sentences where the reader can't identify who or what performs the action. "It was determined that the intervention was effective." Who determined it? The researchers in the study you're citing? You, in your analysis? An accrediting body? The sentence withholds information your committee needs to evaluate the claim.
This problem goes deeper than passive voice, though passive voice is often the culprit. You can write active sentences that still lack clarity: "The analysis revealed three themes." Analyses don't reveal things—researchers conducting analyses do. "The literature suggests a gap." Literature doesn't suggest anything—you, having read the literature, are identifying a gap. Hiding behind abstractions distances you from your own scholarly work.
APA 7th edition explicitly recommends active voice for clarity, and your committee will enforce this. But the real reason to fix these isn't style compliance—it's intellectual precision. When you name the actor, you're forced to think about who actually did what. That thinking makes your writing more accurate, more accountable, and more persuasive.
Dangling modifiers create ambiguity about who performed the introductory action.
Having analyzed the data, the results revealed three themes.
Having analyzed the data, I identified three themes.
"It was found" hides the source. Name the researchers who did the finding.
It was found that student engagement increased during the intervention period.
Martinez et al. (2021) found that student engagement increased during the intervention period.
In your methodology chapter, you are the actor. Own your methods with first person.
Data were analyzed using thematic analysis to identify emergent patterns.
I analyzed the data using Braun and Clarke's (2006) six-phase thematic analysis to identify emergent patterns.
"Results suggested" is vague. State what the findings actually point to.
The results suggested that further research is needed in this area.
These findings highlight a gap in the literature on rural school leadership, warranting further investigation into how principals in low-resource districts sustain instructional reform.
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