Found in 5-8% of dissertation sentences. If your reader has to re-read a sentence three times to understand it, the problem isn't the reader—it's the sentence.
Split this sentence into shorter, clearer units.
There's a myth in academic writing that longer, more complex sentences signal intelligence. The opposite is true. The most respected scholars in any field write clearly. Your committee doesn't award points for sentences that require a syntax diagram to decode—they flag them for revision.
Complex sentences in dissertations typically fall into three patterns: the multi-clause marathon (three or more dependent clauses strung together), the parenthetical pile-up (so many asides that the main point drowns), and the passive-chain (passive constructions nested inside each other). Each one forces your reader to hold too many ideas in working memory before reaching the point.
The fix isn't to write short, choppy sentences—that creates its own readability problems. The goal is one idea per sentence, clearly expressed. If you find a sentence with more than one comma-separated clause and more than 35 words, try splitting it. You'll almost always find that two clear sentences communicate better than one tangled one.
Sentences over 35-40 words with multiple clauses become difficult to parse. Breaking them up improves reader comprehension.
Students pack clauses together to sound more academic. They believe longer sentences demonstrate sophistication, when they actually demonstrate inability to organize ideas clearly.
If you have to read your own sentence twice to follow it, your committee will too—and they won't bother. One idea per sentence. Use periods generously.
The study, which was conducted over three years and included participants from multiple sites who were selected based on criteria that...
The study was conducted over three years. Participants from multiple sites were selected based on specific criteria.
45-word sentence with nested clauses split into two clear sentences.
The researcher, after conducting interviews with participants who had been identified through purposeful sampling based on their experience with the phenomenon of interest, which included at least five years in the field, analyzed the resulting data using thematic analysis.
The researcher identified participants through purposeful sampling, requiring at least five years of experience with the phenomenon. After conducting interviews, the researcher analyzed the data using thematic analysis.
Embedded definition and multiple moderators separated into distinct sentences.
While the literature suggests that transformational leadership, which Bass (2008) defined as leadership that inspires followers to transcend self-interest, may improve organizational outcomes, this relationship is moderated by organizational culture, follower readiness, and the degree to which leaders are perceived as authentic.
The literature suggests that transformational leadership may improve organizational outcomes (Bass, 2008). However, this relationship is moderated by organizational culture, follower readiness, and perceived leader authenticity.
Passive-chain with nested backstory simplified into two active-voice sentences.
It was found by the participants that the program, which had been implemented by the district in response to declining test scores that had been observed over a three-year period, was perceived to be effective.
The district implemented the program after observing three years of declining test scores. Participants perceived the program as effective.
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